Elopement

Day 10 of a 30-day series originally published for Facebook April 2021

No, I'm not talking about running off to get married. I am talking about running off though....

Elopement is a very common phenomenon in autism where a child will wander away from his/her caregiver. Elopement goes beyond typical childhood wandering. Elopement is directly related to autism. An autistic, child usually, will wander away for a variety of reasons, but all of them are related to regulation. They may be seeking a special interest, become anxious or overly stimulated, or purely to explore. The concern for the caregiver, of course, lies with the extreme focus of the child. They may not realize they are wandering into danger, or they may become lost and have no means to communicate with an adult about who they are or where they came from. Sadly, many, many autistic children have died during an elopement episode. Drowning, being hit by a car, hypothermia... these are all very real fears.

For us, elopement is a huge concern and it affects every day of our life. We have to be very careful in our house to keep the car doors locked due to a traumatic experience several years ago. We can only use experienced babysitters that really understand when we say "all eyes on him" we mean it. Our doors have to remain locked at all times, outdoor markets or music events are not an option for us unless we have enough adults to dedicate one just for M. We would love to have a pool one day... but at this point, the risk is far too great. I would love to take a friend up on an offer for a play date, but I'm afraid they may underestimate the need for supervision. And, at least at this moment, public school is not an option for us for many reasons, but the most crucial being the supervision and security level is not enough.