Invisible Disabilities

Day 23 of a 30-day series originally published for Facebook April 2021

The term "invisible disability" or "hidden disability" is an umbrella term used to define a whole spectrum of disabilities or disorders that are primarily neurological. They are referred to as "invisible" because they cannot be seen on the outside, such as someone using a wheelchair to aid in mobility, sign language to communicate, or a service animal to guide. ADHD, ADD, Depression, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, are all invisible disabilities, as well as Celiac Disease, Crohn's, fibromyalgia, epilepsy, etc. And I'm talking about it today because of course, Autism Spectrum Disorder is considered an invisible disability as well.

Society can be particularly insensitive to those with hidden disabilities, and Autistics often feel pressured to "prove it" or judged because they "look normal." As you can imagine, this is not helpful in the least. Glaring at someone who parks in the handicapped parking spot when they don't "look" disabled doesn't make them a jerk, it makes YOU a jerk. In the case of hidden disabilities, since you can never know what's going on inside of someone unless they tell you, the best rule of thumb is to MYOB unless they wish to share with you or request your help in some way.

I'll share with you two dramatically different scenarios regarding our experience with Autism as an invisible disability. This past January we went to Walt Disney World. During the pandemic, Disney was at an all-time low in terms of crowds, and we knew we had to seize the opportunity. At the airport, I asked if we could have priority boarding, so we could get settled, explain to M his new surroundings, and talk through what we planned to do during the 2-hour flight. I was met with a glare from the steward, who asked to "see" M. For what? Proof that as his mother, I wasn't lying about having a child that would benefit from additional support? As if for some reason I would want to spend even a moment longer inside a tiny tin can with 3 children for NO good reason.

In contrast, when we arrived at Magic Kingdom the first day, we went right to guest services to receive our DAP (Disability Access Pass) so we would be able to check-in for rides, wait outside of the line, and show up when it was our turn. I had brought a note from M's doctor because getting this pass was absolutely crucial for us to have a successful trip and I did not want to get it wrong. I went to get my "proof," and the cast member very firmly told me, "I don't need to see anything. I am not a doctor and you are his mother. You know best and we trust you." And THAT'S how it's done, folks!