Meltdowns

Day 13 of a 30-day series originally published for Facebook April 2021

We hear the term “meltdown” often when talking about young children, but what we really mean to say is temper tantrums. Children typically have temper tantrums when they don’t get what they want and are trying to get attention or manipulate the situation (all totally normal and age-appropriate reasons.)

A true meltdown, for an autistic person, has nothing to do with achieving a goal, or manipulation. A “meltdown,” is what happens when all signs of distress are ignored or not accommodated for, and the person quite literally, has a sensory short circuit. They can happen at any age, although they may look different as the person grows. A child may throw themselves on the floor, kick and scream. A teen may go nonverbal (if they were verbal at all to start) and seek isolation, an adult may bolt (run from the scenario.).

A meltdown begins with what’s called “rumblings,” and they are different for everyone. For us, M may begin to jump and flap, or spin. He may grab his ears, or run to me for a tight squeeze. If we aren’t able to reduce the sensory exposure at that time, it’s likely a meltdown will occur. Using headphones to reduce noise pollution, looking at a book to focus in isolation, or laying in my lap are all “go to’s” for us to try and reduce rumblings.

Once a meltdown is in progress, there is little that can or should be done. As long as he’s safe and not hurting himself or others, we let him work through it. Attempts to “make” an autistic person talk, or stop, are not helpful.

And here’s a hot tip: If I’m at Target and this is happening, cruising by and throwing out condescending parenting advice is also not helpful.